Como seriam os dez mandamentos se Moisés viajasse de avião?

(Ou Dez regras básicas para não ser socado pelo cara da poltrona ao lado)
Nos últimos anos, com a ascensão (graças a Deus) da classe C e o maior fluxo de passageiros nos aeroportos do País, as viagens de avião tornaram-se mais comuns para um número cada vez maior de brasileiros.
O problema é que, inversamente proporcional ao aumento no número de passageiros, o espaço nos aviões vem ficando cada vez mais reduzido. E em pouco espaço vale a regra de respeitar o próximo, que no caso, está mais próximo do que nunca.
Não culpo os passageiros pelo incômodo ao vizinho do lado (ou da frente ou de trás). Muitas companhias aéreas em vez de aumentar a frota (claro, imagino que não seja baratinho comprar um Boeing ou um Airbus para dar “apenas”mais conforto ao passageiro), simplesmente reduziram o espaço entre poltronas para fazer “caber” mais no mesmo espaço. Resultado? Dores nas costas, pernas, mau-humor e falta de sono.
Voei recentemente por uma famosa companhia italiana e de duas, uma: ou eu fiquei mais alta, ou o espaço entre poltronas e braços de poltrona foi drasticamente reduzido – na classe econômica, claro! Só sei que com a idade, costumamos encolher, e não o contrário…
Não me lembro de ter feito uma viagem tão apertada na vida. A começar pela caixa de ferro colocada sob as poltronas das fileiras da janela. Num voo de 12 horas, não ter espaço para esticar as pernas é uma verdadeira tortura, que beira o absurdo e sadismo. Com o avião lotado, então, não existe a possibilidade de trocar de poltrona…
Outro problema do estreitamento de espaço entre braços é o simples ato de se levantar. Sem espaço para se mover e com as pernas adormecidas, o passageiro usa a força dos braços para ganhar impulso. Geralmente, puxa a poltrona da frente. O solavanco acorda o outro passageiro que conseguiu adormecer graças às pílulas para dormir ou simples exaustão física e mental, causada pelo puro ódio de viajar como gado.
Nas doze horas de “tortura”, pensei nos mandamentos básicos de boa-convivência entre passageiros submetidos aos espaços reduzidos das aeronaves. Aí vão eles:
1- Não ocuparás a poltrona do próximo. Procure ocupar o lugar que foi designado a você e reze para não ter caixa de ferro no pé…
2- Não baterás ou chutarás a poltrona do próximo à sua frente com o pé ou joelho
3- Não abrirás o jornal inteiramente na cara do próximo ao seu lado.
4- Não comerás com os cotovelos abertos para incomodar o próximo.
5- Não abaixarás subitamente a poltrona para bater no joelho do próximo que está atrás de você.
6- Não puxarás a poltrona do próximo para se levantar, acordando o próximo que conseguiu dormir.
7- Não passarás pelo corredor batendo nas poltronas dos próximos (ou nos pés, costas ou pernas).
8- Falarás baixo, em especial nos voos noturnos, para não incomodar os próximos que estão dormindo. E manterás o volume do fone de ouvido baixo para não irritar o próximo.
9- Tentarás ir ao banheiro quando os próximos da sua fila também se levantarem e não se incomodarás se estiver no corredor e os próximos precisarem ir ao banheiro.
10- Não usarás o banheiro do avião como um sanitário de beira de estrada e de maneira demorada, deixando tudo sujo e molhado para o próximo.
Se as companhias aéreas não fazem a parte delas, pelo menos nós, cidadãos caridosos, podemos cuidar para que as viagens longas sejam pelo menos…CRISTÃS. Boa viagem!
OS: Danuza, como sempre, certíssima! Tenho mais cinco anos de econômica pela frente…
Imagens: Reprodução

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